You may recall that I have received the occasional letter of complaint from the Society of Eloquent English (addressed to Evelyn, of course) and I must tell you now that I have not been taking these letters as seriously as I ought to. The last one, and I quote, said: "This is a warning Evelyn, and though we may not have legal backing, we are not without resources."
Since then, as you all know, Evelyn's rather poorly edited novel Silver Tongue hit the kindle store and today what I found (nailed to my office door no less) was this:
These words do not mean what you think they mean:
Taunt - Consider looking up the word taut!
Suppose - We can only suppose that you meant to use supposed.
Strait- a narrow passage of water. Did you mean straight?
Irregardless - Surprise! This is not a word.
Okay, so that is actually only the very beginning of the list, but you get the idea! It just went on and on, and though the Department of Good Grammar and Perfect Punctuation didn't exactly sign their name at the end, there was no doubt in my mind that the Society of Eloquent English was behind it all. To be honest it made me more than a bit uncomfortable; sending a letter is one thing, nailing a list of commonly misused words to someone’s door, is another...
This report was brought to you by Mr. Edwin Riddle
Of Public Relations, Personal Investigations, and Subterfuge